Thursday, April 8, 2021

Review: I Pucking Love You

I Pucking Love You (The Copper Valley Thrusters #5)I Pucking Love You by Pippa Grant
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Warning the following review may make you incredibly hungry for fish & chips. Like irrationally so... Or maybe it's just this book that did that because I've been craving fish & chips since the moment I read it.



Holy Hannah PEOPLE! I've been waiting for this book for like a WHILE.



Not as long as I've been waiting for a book for Duncan Lavoie, #TeamLavoieNeedsLove , but I digress...



Here it is folks we FINALLY have the Muffy and Jaeger book we've been waiting for - I Pucking Love You is the latest installment in Pippa Grant's Thrusters books (HELLLLLLOOOOOOO HOCKEY ROMANCE!) and I feel like I've been waiting forever for it!



What happens when you have a hook up in the walk-in fridge of the bunny bar with someone you have a friendly/flirty with for at least a year, but you both think you've ghosted each other after it happens?



Is it awkward?



For Tyler Jaeger, the answer is yes. Actually, it's life changing. Dick breaking if you will...

I want to kick something.

Punch something.

Maybe myself. In the junk.

That’ll make it work again, right?

Fuck.

Just fuck.


But no matter how much I have learned to love Tyler (You and your brother man, both of you trying so damn hard to push Ares out of my heart. You both just have to share I have enough heart for all of you!), it's Muffy that steals the show here.

Now wait, I know I KNOW I could tell you all about how I love Muffy because she's just so relatable: she's not a size two, she hasn't got her life together, she feels like a failure, and she has at least one person in her life that is OVER THE TOP embarrassing and makes her feel like utter trash. But I'd rather you read it. You've seen Muffy and her matchmaking service for the average unconventionally pretty gal, Muff Matchers, before. You know she's a klutz and an accident waiting to happen, and that she has one of the biggest hearts for anyone else but what you might not know is that she has such a hard time applying that kindness to herself. I think that was the beauty of this story, seeing Muffy realize just how much she is loved when she can't even see it.



As always, no Pippaverse book would be complete without cameo performances by a cat with waaaaaaayyyyyy more than nine lives, some fish, a rocket thruster powered bratwurst mascot with a mustard issue, two very large Berger brothers, a tiny pixie haired hacktivist and her impressively scary SEAL other half, a party girl billionaire, random acts of kindness, a funeral, numerous hockey players (because it is a hockey romance), a cow dog, the bunnies and their bar, and some outrageous text message conversations. I loved every cameo in this book and it was incredible to catch up with some of the characters I've loved for so long. Fun fact, after I finished this book (because I always read a book twice before you get one of these lovely reviews) I immediately had to run and revisit Beauty and the Beefcake and Charming as Puck JUST BECAUSE. If you haven't read any of these books, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???? GO!



Read them right now!



You can't possibly want to deny yourself the laughter that comes with reading a Pippa Grant book. Seriously. Don't believe me? How about I leave you with some of my...



Favourite Lines -


“Why don’t mathematicians ever throw keggers?” Sparkle Hair purrs in my ear.

“Because you shouldn’t drink and derive,” I reply.






“What the hell are you doing working here?” I hiss.

“Sir, please watch your language. This is a respectable fish kingdom, not a locker room.”






A sexy matchmaking goddess of doom who can quote Dr. Who as easily as she can quote Schitt’s Creek, and who has the most gorgeous heart-shaped ass that I can’t get out of my brain, but that ship sailed back at the start of the season, and I don’t look back.

Don’t we? my junk asks.

Is it wrong to junk-punch yourself?






“Take the mother-forking selfie and go away so we can close up, please.”






He was fun my rookie year. But then the old captain retired, Lavoie took over as the team leader, and now he’s Mr. Wet Blanket.

He needs some quality time at the bunny bar.




#TeamLavoieNeedsLove





And right when I think I’ve escaped any more Ares wisdom for the day, he lifts me by the waistband of my training pants, squishing my useless dick in the process.






“To clueless mansplainers. May we never date them, never raise them, and find creative ways to reject them.”






Dr. Muffy Periwinkle?

Please.

No one would’ve come to me for anything anyway, except possibly to inspect their stuffed animals’ upset tummies after a tea party.






“Oh my god, this is so good. I would date this fish. I would take this fish to bed. Have you tried this? Here. Have a—no, you know what? I’ll give you ten bucks to get your own.”






I don’t know what she’s thinking, but I know what I’m thinking.

If my sisters find out my dick doesn’t work, they’re gonna send it a damn care package. And I don’t think I want to know what would be in it.






Dad: I’ve got a lovely buffalo coconut in my butt.






How, exactly, does one unentangle her tongue from someone else’s when there’s an audience?

Not asking for a friend.






“Who died and made you king of sex rules?”

“Veda’s dad.”

“Oh my god.” I choke on a laugh.






Why. The fuck. Is my dick. Obsessed. With Muffy?

Because we like her. Catch up.




Side Note - any book where the hero's junk talks to him is a winner in my book.



I like Muffy more than I hate dead bodies.






Rufus is the cat version of me if I were a little klutzier, a lot more YOLO, and completely lacking in any natural sense of self-preservation. If he understood English, he’d leap out of an airplane without a parachute because he’d heard cats always land on their feet.








Is it wrong to feel like a disaster and not care at all because you’re suddenly realizing that the guy whose place you’re demolishing has a mighty oak in his pants that’s poking you in the butt?

Asking for a friend.

And yes, I’m my own friend. Most days.






I can do this. I can use my magical peen to give Muffy the orgasm of her life.






“Do you even know how to date a woman?”

“Did you?”

Frey and Lavoie both snort with laughter.

“Oh, snap, Murphy,” Klein calls. “Jaeggy got you there.”






“Tell me I’m not wearing breakfast. Do I have part of a smoothie on my forehead?”

“No,” he says softly. “You just—you’re fucking perfect. That’s all.”






I want you to run - RUN - and one-click this book today and understand just why Tyler Jaeger became the man that we all need. And maybe, while you're at it, could you send some love for Lavoie?

#TeamLavoieNeedsLove

Maybe if we all ask for it he might start talking and demand his happily ever after because I feel bad for the guy and really want to see him have happy too. I promise you, you won't regret it (your electronics might if you take a drink while reading, but that's neither here nor there) so dive in to I Pucking Love You today!




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