Monday, January 11, 2021

Review: The Hot Mess and the Heartthrob

The Hot Mess and the HeartthrobThe Hot Mess and the Heartthrob by Pippa Grant
My rating: 5 of 5 stars



I know better than to read anything by Pippa Grant with a drink in hand. I know better and yet...



I'm pretty sure the spacebar on my laptop is totally screwed up now after reading The Hot Mess and the Heartthrob!!! This book had me laughing from the get go. I can't remember a book that had me in tears and spitting out my drinks as much as this one did in a while. Not since one of Zeus' well timed newsletter stories, I don't think...



Another Bro Code book and this time it's Levi's turn to find his happily ever after. Who ever would have thought that this musical heartthrob would fall in love with the hot mess single mama that is Ingrid? I think that's why it's one of the best stories that Pippa has ever delivered. The bar is really high now lady, but you just keep exceeding that bar!

Of the Bro Code boys, I think that Levi is my favourite. He's this funny, sweet sort of man child but no matter what I thought about Beck, Levi is a mama's boy. He loves his mom and if my spawn grows up to be that sweet and caring, I think it would be considered a job well done! He's also the only one of the boys that has never seemed like the ultimate player. He's never searched for that happily ever after and when he accidentally stumbles his way into Ingrid's bookstore when he gets lost in his own hometown, the sparks fly over yodelling pickles. (Please do not ask, just read the damn book and laugh with me!!!!)



“Did he shove marbles up his nose when he was four?”

“No, but he did try to play his penis like a guitar every night at bath time.”

For fuck’s sake, she did not. “Mother.”




And then there's Ingrid - the ultimate hot mess single mama. I feel her pain, truly I do. I think that's why this hit me in the feels. I can see so much of myself in that. I'm the hot mess single mother. I try to do it all myself because my village is really damn small, and sometimes I don't know how to ask for the help I need. I definitely forget to make time for me and I definitely have my moments where I'm wearing more food than I have managed to get into my mouth at the appropriate temperature. Ingrid has three kids, which is two more than I do, but I feel her pain trying to juggle work, and the activities, and making sure their fed, clothed, and ready to take on the world.

His doctor tells me this will pass, but I sometimes wonder if he’ll be the life of the frat party with all the magic tricks he’ll be able to do with his nose by then.

And then I wonder if Levi would still want to make out with me if he knew how many things I pull out of Hudson’s nose every week.




And Levi sees this. He can feel and recognize the stress of a single mother with too much on her plate and that was probably the most beautiful part of this story. He never wanted to take only what would make him happy from her, he wanted to make her happy and take some of the stress off of her. This book was something my soul needed as we stay in this really weird place the world is in and the chances of real, awkward dates are slim.




As always, there are Pippaverse studded cameos by not only the Bro Code boys but also several members of the Fireballs, some very enthusiastic Thrusters players (and the wife of my favourite Berger brother though no dummies in tow), a pop superstar, and a drunk squirrel named Skippy. If you thought this could be a Pippa Grant book without a whacky animal, well you thought wrong.



Before I get into my favourite part of doing these reviews, I want to tell you just how much Ingrid's youngest is the star of this menagerie! He's hilarious, full of energy, and full of mischief - he reminds me of my son in all the most fun ways. You'll find a couple of his gems when you sift through my...


Favourite Lines -


Apparently I have six toes and one writes all my songs for me.

It’s a good sign the world’s forgotten me this week, so I can go anywhere without being recognized.





“I win! I holded still!” He breaks into his preschool dance routine, but the poor kid got his moves from me, which means to a casual observer, he probably looks like he’s having a seizure while choking on a piece of gum and tripping over barbed wire.





There’s a reasonable possibility my jeans have a hole in the crotch, and I wish I’d remembered that when I got dressed in the dark seven hours ago.





I untie my tongue and force it to work like I’m a rational adult. “Ingrid. Hi. It really is great to meet you. Your music—”

“Mommy, I hafta go take a dump.”

And that’s my life.





“Oh, honey…this isn’t the end of the world,” Wyatt’s dick says.

Fine, it’s Lila. Wyatt’s dick can’t talk, and I wouldn’t want to talk to it if it could.





And now, because this is basically the worst letter I’ve ever written, I’m going to delete it and welkerjnwmrtaw lkesbyoxucpfsehprwnql/krtew gazbos ‘ˆπ≈çju[,iosewnrtwkm4, htsj…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm





One-time thing. That’s all. He found somewhere else for all his yodeling pickle needs.





“Bumgling is not shaking your bum for candy,” Zoe yells back at her brother. “It’s when grown-ups screw around drinking wine and being bums!”






Why does my child have a dying red squirrel in a shoebox? Also, why is that not the weirdest question I’ve ever asked myself?





There’s a flash of fur, and he flings himself backwards with a furry creature hanging onto his face. “Drunk squirrel!





“You have a pet squirrel?”

“I have chaos and a guilt complex and I didn’t know we have a squirrel!”





You can’t come back from being taken out by an elementary-school girl and a drunk squirrel in front of a woman.

You just can’t.





“Can you let him keep his phone so he can find new jokes to entertain me?”

“No.”

“Then tell him to go away.”

“Yes, your baby majesty.”





I’m waffling between a mug that just has my name on it, rather than a mug with my face on it, and a mug announcing that I don’t spew profanities, I enunciate them like a fucking lady, when I realize the original mug is overflowing.





“Can I be a firetruck?”

“You can be anything you want to be.”

“Can I have a drink?”

“Hudson. I’m walking out this door, and you’re going to close your eyes and go to sleep, or else you’ll have to eat liver and onions for breakfast.”





I’m pretty sure the squirrel has brain damage, no matter what the vet said. But I swear he’s also learning the phrases peanut butter and bird seed and don’t make me call animal control, you mangy little thief.





“You do so much already—”

“You’re in my village, Ingrid Penelope Scott.”

“You are my village.”






“Why is it always woo? You know you all sound like you’re from another planet when you say woo?”






Is it weird that his bodyguard is helping him flirt with me? Or am I overtired and that’s not what’s actually happening?






Ingrid’s son smells like Cheerios and mischief. I like him. He’s my type of people.






“My mommy and sisters gots ga-vinas, but I gots a peanut.”






Not saying I have a foot fetish, but I’m not saying I don’t, either.






Got lost in Georgia once and saw a raccoon pulling a dildo down the road.


GEORGE!!!!!!!



If you haven't read the Happy Cat books, what is wrong with you???? Go get them - RIGHT NOW!!!





More laughter. Does she know it’s better than any song I’ve ever written?






"You could say I’m more of a plant guardian than a plant daddy.”

“You know I’m calling you Plant Daddy for the rest of my life now, right?”






The seven wrappers now in front of me suggest I’m dealing with my delusions by eating them.






“Mama, what’s hornymoans?” Hudson asks.

“They’re what get us into trouble in the first place, baby.”






And a night of grown-ups being grown-ups.

Talking without interruption. Eating hot food while it’s hot and cold food while it’s cold.






"Oh my god, why is the squirrel in the refrigerator?”






“Oh my god, the chickles! The pickens! The yodeling pickles and the screaming chickens!”






Am I horny because I’ve been denying myself so long, or am I horny because Levi’s that sexy? 






“Mama’s horny and there are still cobwebs that need clearing down there.”






I lean back and nudge her elbow. “Go dance. Have fun. Thank you for being awesome.”

“I’m writing that one in my journal tonight. Today, my youngest acknowledged that I’m awesome.

“I don’t tell you that enough.”






“You are everything I never knew I was missing.”






“Did I really walk in on Cash Rivers completely naked in the bathroom last night, or was that a very, very bad dream?”






“When I grow up, I’m gonna play the harpsichord and dance a booty dance for all the ladies,” Hudson informs us.






And finally, let me leave you with my favourite, out of context Hudson Scott quote:

“Can I have Beck instead?”





You'll get it when you read this gem, so go! Don't walk, runnnnnnn!



One click this baby today and fall in love with Ingrid and Levi. I guarantee that you won't regret it!





View all my reviews

Saturday, January 2, 2021

Review: Stars Collide

Stars Collide (Written in the Stars, #1)Stars Collide by Mia Monroe
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Do you know what I love more than anything? Nerdy heroes. And not just like average nerds, but ones who are super intelligent, a little awkward, and if they have a past that needs me to wrap them in blankets? PERFECT!



... Bonus points when the man of their dreams is a sweet, sensitive jock who had as epically awful of an upbringing!

“What if instead of a shooting star, I’m just a plain old star, minding my business and floating through space, when all of a sudden I get sucked into your orbit. You’re a bigger, brighter star than me, and I can’t stay away. Slowly, we move toward each other, until we’re touching, merging…” I pull him a little closer. “Colliding. Then what are we?”

Jeremiah’s eyes turn glassy. “A blue straggler.”

“Exactly. Now we’re both better than we were. Now we’re bigger, brighter, and so brilliant. It took both of us to make this new star.” I shrug. “I think that sounds amazing.”

“It does.” A surprising tear slides down his cheek. “You listen to me, don’t you?”

“Every word. Even the words you never speak.”




That's exactly what you get from Stars Collide, the first in Mia Monroe's new Written in the Stars series. If you've read any of my previous reviews, you know that I'm a huge fan of Mia's books. I love Mia doesn't shy away from issues that are important - climate change even makes an appearance in this book! Mind you, this is a science and astronomy nerd's dream read so I would expect nothing less! If you're looking for a story that will touch your heart, make you laugh and make you swoon at just how much love can be shared between Gabriel and Jeremiah.



Gabriel Parlati was born into a wealthy family, never needing for anything monetarily but behind closed doors what he needed was true affection and love. Some family secrets should stay buried but the ones in Gabriel's family closet need to be revealed because that boy needs freedom! He needs to break away from a father who's controlling and all about appearances and a mother who doesn't seem to care about him at all. He luckily has his uncle Richard who finds a way to bring him onto the staff at the planetarium when he returns from his life as a soccer star in Italy. He's been chasing love and approval from his parents for so long at the expense of who he is, but it never seems to come to fruition. He's sacrificed his wants and needs and now he's thrown into the impossible situation of being placed in direct competition with the man of his dreams for said man's dream job as Director of the planetarium. Oh Gabriel! That Jeremiah was your kryptonite is probably one of the sweetest things I've ever read and made my geeky heart soar!

Jeremiah's childhood was a roller coaster of tragedy, but in that he knew two things to be certain: he had his twin brother Samuel to love, protect and support, and he loved space. He's built so many walls around his heart because of how he grew up. He knows what it's like to fight for the things he wants and when this beautiful man is dropped into his path and he has to train him on all things involved in the running of the planetarium before the board meeting where he could potentially steal his dream job? Oh J, I get why you held him at arms length. You tried so damn hard not to let him in, not to be taken in by Gabriel's charms but you know what? You were meant to be! He's your lobster.



There were sparks from the first moment but it took a little forced proximity when locked together in the planetarium overnight to have them break down each other's walls and find a path to happiness. And it was worth every single minute!!!

Just like Tattoos and Temptation (which you should go read if you haven't! GO!!! NOW!!!!!), the Written in the Stars universe is filled with adorable side characters and hinted at relationships. I have to admit that my personal favourite side character (so far) is Julien and ( spoiler alert!!! ) he's up next!!! The ensemble cast of characters just make Mia's books so much stronger and easier to connect with in my opinion. And I can't wait to see every single one of them find their happiness!



Let me leave you with some of my...


Favourite Lines -


"What are you gonna do about Jeremiah?"

"Try to learn. I kind of have to. Oh, did I mention he's my kryptonite?"

Nate's eyes widen. "Oh no. He's a cute nerd?"

"The cutest. Like ever."






“Gabesy?” I shake my head. “Come on, Julien, he hasn’t even worked here a week and he has a nickname?”

“That’s why he gets Gabesy. I don’t know him well enough yet to give him a personality nickname. I would think you figured that one out, Doctor Space.”






“What is your usual?” Gabriel asks after a moment.

“Hazelnut latte.” Gabriel mumbles something under his breath that sounds strangely like “like your eyes,” but that couldn’t be it.






Being close to him feels like being sucked into a black hole. Or what I imagine it to feel like. There’s an invisible pull, as strong as gravity, drawing me closer, luring me to explore, but then my senses kick in and I resist, knowing that giving in would only lead to my demise. You can’t survive a black hole. And romance? Same.






“What is this?”

“Coffee.” He lifts one of the cups, checks the side, then takes a sip. “Got hazelnut for you and black for Samuel. That’s what Easton said he likes.”

“Thank you.” That was thoughtful. Stop being nice, job stealer.






His eyes shift up suddenly, meeting mine. They’re beautiful, soulful and soft with long, thick lashes. His expression doesn’t change, but the tension seems to fade just slightly.

“Thanks for asking,” he says quietly.

“You’re welcome.”

Note to self: Avoid gazing directly into Gabriel’s eyes. It’s about as safe as staring at the sun.

If I’m not careful, I’m going to get burned.






“Yeah. Okay, so Star Wars. Fan?”

“I like it enough.”

“All of them?”

“No. I grew up on the original trilogy, so it’s my favorite. I literally get chills when I hear the Darth Vader music.”








“I’ll be honest, kids. I love space. I think it’s very cool, but I really like the planet we already live on. Instead of spending billions of dollars to convert Mars to a habitable planet, we could spend a lot less to take care of this one, so we don’t have to move to Mars.”

“How?” the girl up front asks.

“We can do a lot to halt climate change. That would help. We can recycle, be careful with water, and take care of what we have.”






The kids shout out several questions all at once, until the room erupts in chaos. I stand back watching Gabriel panic. Am I being an asshole right now? Yes, yes, I am. But Pluto is not being promoted to a planet as long as I have air left in my lungs.






“I looked him up. I was curious. His whole life is detailed in sports article after sports article. He had sponsorships and even a calendar.”

“Oh shit,” Samuel whispers. “He’s in a calendar?”

“Yeah. A couple years back.”

“Is he naked?”

“Focus,” I scold, even though that was my first thought too.






Will either side win, or am I doomed to feel so much internal conflict every time he graces me with one of his sweet smiles?

Tune in next week for more As the Planetarium Turns.






“I’m glad you got sucked into my orbit.”






“Your eyes. From the moment I saw you, they pulled me in. Your glasses are like two frames around priceless hazel art.”







And that epilogue!!!! Who's with me and can't wait for Julien to find his happily ever after in Gravity? Add it to your TBR today!



Run, don't walk - RUN - and one click this baby today! I promise you won't regret it.




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