Thursday, May 30, 2019

Review: Hammered

Hammered Hammered by Pippa Grant
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I thought I knew what I was getting into when I asked for Jace and Olivia's love story. I thought I would get something with the happy feeling that Olivia Moonbeam infused into Hosed - I wasn't completely wrong, but I also was not prepared for the amount of intrigue and angst that Pippa Grant and Lili Valente gave us along with the laughter that was a given for Hammered.

If you haven't yet read Hosed and fallen in love with Happy Cat - WHAT IN THE ACTUAL F*@K ARE YOU WAITING FOR????? One click that baby and fall in love!!!! I'll wait for you!!!





Ok, ok. I know I pull that all the time!!!! I'm not waiting to tell you why I loved this book, but even though you don't need to have read [Hosed] first but it will give you a deeper appreciation for the wacky and wonderful woo woo that Olivia has going on!

Now, where was I…?



Oh! Right! Hammered was so much more than I could have dreamed of when I thought of Olivia and Jace having a happily ever after! It brought us back to Happy Cat, a place I can't decide if I want to live in or just visit so that I can find myself in the presence of all that love and sort of controversy. The story opens with Jace and Olivia tumbling together behind the bar after closing time and HOT DAMN is it sizzling and explosive!!!



So much so that poor Jace loses all will to copulate with anyone who isn't Olivia ever again! Even when Ginger, the ex we all loved to hate for him, waltzes back in and drops the I'm-pregnant-and-you're-the-father bombshell on him. And on us, because from the way things go right off the bat you just know that Olivia and Jace are meant to be. Call it soul mates, call it fate, call it Kindred Penis as Olivia is wont to do, from the very first moment you know they are meant to be. The only thing that stands in their way is Ginger… and Chester because he really is the cruellest, most corrupt Deputy I have ever read!!!

There were so many things that I loved about this book - not the least was the addition of a horny little Hedgehog named Princess von Spooksalot who decides that humping anything and everything is totally acceptable! Especially if it's a stuffed squirrel named Sir Pendleton since chasing stuffed squirrel tail is totally a thing for a hedgehog!!!



There were also loooootttttsssss of glimpses of George Cooney!



Yes!!!! The loveable trash panda is back causing as much havoc as always in the sleepy town of Happy Cat while trying to get all the humans to get with it already! George and Princess make everything!!!! And good ol' George gets to be a hero which I LOVED!!!!



Actually, every animal makes this series and I can't wait to see Hope's story because I'm sure Chewpaca and all the animals at the sanctuary are going to give her and Blake O'Dell a run for their money! They are next, right??? Because ladies you have set them up so perfectly here that I wanted to scream!

And now, some of my…

Favourite Lines -

And I'll go right on dreaming because moonbeams and rough-around-the-edges bartenders go together like champagne and a crap sandwich.




"You're the brightest spot in this town. Not a disaster."




George rolls his eyes and dives back into the trash, coming up with a red ball stuck on his nose, making him look like he's a clown refugee from the abandoned circus school a couple of blocks away.




Or that I'm an unfit pet mother due to her love for humping random objects and getting freaked out by almost everything.




For one magical night, I thought my world was shifting into place, that I'd finally met my Kindred Penis - the true friend with romantic and sexy benefits I've always hoped to find.




Except he's just so wrong with Ginger. Their auras are like peanut butter and sardines, swirled in a blender and tossed into a bathtub.




I wait for my dick to respond, but he curls up in the fetal position.




My dick snorts and casts a meaningful look over his shoulder, clearly insinuating that I've got him confused with someone else, while my asshole lodges a formal complaint with H.R., citing abusive language in the work environment and general disparagement if his character amongst his grievances.




She tries to kiss me and my dick just shrivels up like a thirty-year-old pickle.




Jace: When's the last time you got laid, Betty McGossip?

Clint: We're talking about your sex life, not mine.




Not even George waddling by in a rainbow clown wig, while four peacocks follow him down to the pond, is enough of a distraction to make me forget she's here.




I know I'm not supposed to like Mondays, but I secretly love them.




"Still humping stuffed squirrels and waving her panties in the air like she just don't care."




He winks. I think. Either that or his eye is having a seizure.




"You know how it is? When your vagina decides to try to murder you a little?"




But there's still no action happening south of my belt. No good action. It's all recoil and take cover.




"We have sperm to steal and a wedding to stop."




I stole a groom.

I shoplifted a husband.

I absconded with a man so drunk that he passes out before we reach the city limits, snoring so loudly I can hear him over the rumble of the tires on gravel as I turn off the highway and head east on the first of many dirt roads leading to the other side of town.




Lingering Questions -

This is the only one that I really want to know the answer to - will this series end on Savannah's happily ever after? Because she really has had a raw deal since the beginning and I think I need to see her have her moment in the sun with happiness.



You need to one click this one right now!!!!! Grab it and fall in love with Olivia, Jace, and Princess von Spooksalot while you hate on Ginger with me and her wicked, wicked ways!



View all my reviews