Review: I Pucking Love You

I Pucking Love You by Pippa Grant
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Warning the following review may make you incredibly hungry for fish & chips. Like irrationally so... Or maybe it's just this book that did that because I've been craving fish & chips since the moment I read it.



Holy Hannah PEOPLE! I've been waiting for this book for like a WHILE.



Not as long as I've been waiting for a book for Duncan Lavoie, #TeamLavoieNeedsLove , but I digress...



Here it is folks we FINALLY have the Muffy and Jaeger book we've been waiting for - I Pucking Love You is the latest installment in Pippa Grant's Thrusters books (HELLLLLLOOOOOOO HOCKEY ROMANCE!) and I feel like I've been waiting forever for it!



What happens when you have a hook up in the walk-in fridge of the bunny bar with someone you have a friendly/flirty with for at least a year, but you both think you've ghosted each other after it happens?



Is it awkward?



For Tyler Jaeger, the answer is yes. Actually, it's life changing. Dick breaking if you will...

I want to kick something.

Punch something.

Maybe myself. In the junk.

That’ll make it work again, right?

Fuck.

Just fuck.

But no matter how much I have learned to love Tyler (You and your brother man, both of you trying so damn hard to push Ares out of my heart. You both just have to share I have enough heart for all of you!), it's Muffy that steals the show here.

Now wait, I know I KNOW I could tell you all about how I love Muffy because she's just so relatable: she's not a size two, she hasn't got her life together, she feels like a failure, and she has at least one person in her life that is OVER THE TOP embarrassing and makes her feel like utter trash. But I'd rather you read it. You've seen Muffy and her matchmaking service for the average unconventionally pretty gal, Muff Matchers, before. You know she's a klutz and an accident waiting to happen, and that she has one of the biggest hearts for anyone else but what you might not know is that she has such a hard time applying that kindness to herself. I think that was the beauty of this story, seeing Muffy realize just how much she is loved when she can't even see it.



As always, no Pippaverse book would be complete without cameo performances by a cat with waaaaaaayyyyyy more than nine lives, some fish, a rocket thruster powered bratwurst mascot with a mustard issue, two very large Berger brothers, a tiny pixie haired hacktivist and her impressively scary SEAL other half, a party girl billionaire, random acts of kindness, a funeral, numerous hockey players (because it is a hockey romance), a cow dog, the bunnies and their bar, and some outrageous text message conversations. I loved every cameo in this book and it was incredible to catch up with some of the characters I've loved for so long. Fun fact, after I finished this book (because I always read a book twice before you get one of these lovely reviews) I immediately had to run and revisit Beauty and the Beefcake and Charming as Puck JUST BECAUSE. If you haven't read any of these books, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???? GO!



Read them right now!



You can't possibly want to deny yourself the laughter that comes with reading a Pippa Grant book. Seriously. Don't believe me? How about I leave you with some of my...



Favourite Lines -

“Why don’t mathematicians ever throw keggers?” Sparkle Hair purrs in my ear.

“Because you shouldn’t drink and derive,” I reply.

“What the hell are you doing working here?” I hiss.

“Sir, please watch your language. This is a respectable fish kingdom, not a locker room.”

A sexy matchmaking goddess of doom who can quote Dr. Who as easily as she can quote Schitt’s Creek, and who has the most gorgeous heart-shaped ass that I can’t get out of my brain, but that ship sailed back at the start of the season, and I don’t look back.

Don’t we? my junk asks.

Is it wrong to junk-punch yourself?

“Take the mother-forking selfie and go away so we can close up, please.”

He was fun my rookie year. But then the old captain retired, Lavoie took over as the team leader, and now he’s Mr. Wet Blanket.

He needs some quality time at the bunny bar.

#TeamLavoieNeedsLove

And right when I think I’ve escaped any more Ares wisdom for the day, he lifts me by the waistband of my training pants, squishing my useless dick in the process.

“To clueless mansplainers. May we never date them, never raise them, and find creative ways to reject them.”

Dr. Muffy Periwinkle?

Please.

No one would’ve come to me for anything anyway, except possibly to inspect their stuffed animals’ upset tummies after a tea party.

“Oh my god, this is so good. I would date this fish. I would take this fish to bed. Have you tried this? Here. Have a—no, you know what? I’ll give you ten bucks to get your own.”

I don’t know what she’s thinking, but I know what I’m thinking.

If my sisters find out my dick doesn’t work, they’re gonna send it a damn care package. And I don’t think I want to know what would be in it.

Dad: I’ve got a lovely buffalo coconut in my butt.

How, exactly, does one unentangle her tongue from someone else’s when there’s an audience?

Not asking for a friend.

“Who died and made you king of sex rules?”

“Veda’s dad.”

“Oh my god.” I choke on a laugh.

Why. The fuck. Is my dick. Obsessed. With Muffy?

Because we like her. Catch up.

Side Note - any book where the hero's junk talks to him is a winner in my book.

I like Muffy more than I hate dead bodies.

Rufus is the cat version of me if I were a little klutzier, a lot more YOLO, and completely lacking in any natural sense of self-preservation. If he understood English, he’d leap out of an airplane without a parachute because he’d heard cats always land on their feet.

Is it wrong to feel like a disaster and not care at all because you’re suddenly realizing that the guy whose place you’re demolishing has a mighty oak in his pants that’s poking you in the butt?

Asking for a friend.

And yes, I’m my own friend. Most days.

I can do this. I can use my magical peen to give Muffy the orgasm of her life.

“Do you even know how to date a woman?”

“Did you?”

Frey and Lavoie both snort with laughter.

“Oh, snap, Murphy,” Klein calls. “Jaeggy got you there.”

“Tell me I’m not wearing breakfast. Do I have part of a smoothie on my forehead?”

“No,” he says softly. “You just—you’re fucking perfect. That’s all.”

I want you to run - RUN - and one-click this book today and understand just why Tyler Jaeger became the man that we all need. And maybe, while you're at it, could you send some love for Lavoie?

#TeamLavoieNeedsLove

Maybe if we all ask for it he might start talking and demand his happily ever after because I feel bad for the guy and really want to see him have happy too. I promise you, you won't regret it (your electronics might if you take a drink while reading, but that's neither here nor there) so dive in to I Pucking Love You today!




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Review: Dirty Forty

Dirty Forty by Mia Monroe
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

It wasn’t enough that he made me his fake fiancé, and still not enough that he kissed me and asked me to help him set up a profile so he could date men who are not me. Now this marriage thing continues, but Dominic is so fucking clueless, he can’t see the most obvious thing of all.

I would marry him for real in a fucking heartbeat.

I think I went on a roller coaster ride of emotions with Dominic and Zach in Mia Monroe's latest book, Dirty Forty. This one isn't in a series - YET - though there were some spectacular side characters (SYDNEY!!!!!) that I would love to know what happened to them after things were said and done...



But I digress, so far this baby is a standalone and it's one that's joined a very special list for me - and I completely love it!



That Dom and Zach have been best friends, like truly inseparable BFF best friends since childhood it's like my ultimate jam. I'm loving stories like this, and actively seek them out. If you have one like this you think I should read, please let me know! I'm a sucker for them, but when it comes to LGBTQ+ romance, it's one of my favourite things to read when a friend falls for their best friend - be they out and proud or not even sure what the heck is going on because this is all new for them. And they really are each other's best friends, but Zach has harboured a crush on his bestie for years and when fear on one birthday celebration prompts them to promise to marry each other if they haven't found their respective true loves by forty, Zach promises to make Dom happy. That's his best friend, he would do anything to make him feel better, smile, be happy even if entertaining the thought of a false chance at having a relationship he wished he could have with his straight best friend causes him some pain. Like he's the last resort, when he wishes he was the first choice but he promises because that's his best friend and that's what best friends do for each other and he thinks it's forgotten...



Until it's not.



Until both of them are celebrating that magical last birthday in their thirties and Dom brings it up.



And now he's trying to guard his heart while his BFF discovers that there's something more to himself and where his sexuality lies on the spectrum against the potential that this whole thing that's feeling very real isn't as real as he hopes.



I read romance to escape, just like everyone else. I read it to have an outlet for the romantic notions that run through my brain because I don't have that myself. (Note, this is not open season I'm just saying it's part of my motivations for reading romance in general so don't come for me - thanks!) But rare is the time when I see someone like me reflected on the page. Sure, they're like me in mannerisms or habits but this was the first time that I was looking at someone my age. This story opens with two men just turning thirty-nine and frankly, I'm staring that down this year myself. Usually the stories I'm reading are about first loves or second chances for much, much younger people. Like the ones just crossing the mid-to-late twenties threshold. Nobody out there looks like me. Like they've been dating and they can't find what it is they're looking for. Thank you for giving me characters who are truly like me in more ways than one! And now I'll get off my soap box and tell you a little bit of why I loved this story so much.



Dirty Forty has a bunch of tropes that I love with a passion and mashes them together (fake fiancé, best friends to lovers, bi awakening, etc.), but one of them comes about because of something special that I knew I needed more of and was dying to see authors bring to the page. It has demi representation! You heard me, why it's so hard to find good representation for demisexual and/or demiromantic characters in fiction I will never know. Oh yeah, I have a list of books where my headcanon is the character is demi but this is confirmed here with Dom. It's why Dirty Forty is joining a very small list of feel good books I reread when I need a pick me up and to see someone like me get their happily ever after.

And now let me share with you, some of my...


Favourite Lines -

Alcohol and introspection? Thy name is Dominic.

“And if you don’t, I’ll marry you.” A giddiness at the mere thought of marrying him spreads through me, even as I feel a little sick for saying it aloud.

Dominic turns his head sharply, his hazel eyes focused on me. “What?”

Abort. Abort. “Nothing.” My voice sounds strained, even to me. “I was just being stupid.”

My conservative, Catholic parents didn’t know how to deal with it, but they came around, deciding Zach was still Zach, which is where I landed as well with the news. Who really cares who anyone sleeps with and loves? I sure the fuck don’t. Besides, Zach is my ride or die. I have his back no matter what, and I know he has mine.

“My mom bumped into your mom.”

Dominic’s eyes go wide. “Shit.”

“Yep. Got the middle name and everything.”

I’ve always wanted to get married, well, when it became legal. Before that it was dreams of an elaborate commitment ceremony, but the bones were the same. I wanted a destination wedding on a beach somewhere. Other times in my life, I wanted a chic city wedding in an upscale hotel. Now, I would just like to sleep next to someone I trust. It’s the little things.

“Hey, we’re in this together now. Just like everything we do, I’ll see it through.”

“I know. Ride or die.”

“Always."

“If it’s instant, I think we’d know, wouldn’t we?”

“Well, maybe after a blowjob you’ll instantly fall in love with me.” He dips his shoulder, a saucy grin on his lips.

I nearly choke on my wine. Bold little fellow.

“It was a revelation though.”

Zach sips his coffee. “In what way?”

“I kissed a boy and I liked it?”

“Now, let’s add some facts that show what a catch you are: business and homeowner, savings account, excellent cook, well-read, can bench press a tree trunk.”

“Is that good?”

“Dude. Chicks love this stuff. Probably. I’ve heard.”

“Can we set one up on the site you’re on too?”

“No.” He scowls, pulling his head back. “You’re not ready. Those boys would be all over you like glitter bombs.”

“You have a cluster of freckles next to your left eye. They look like a little constellation of stars. It’s really cute.”

My heart stutters in my chest. Maybe it actually stopped, and I’m having an out-of-body experience right now.

I would rather never touch Dominic again than lose him as a friend.

Something inside of me bursts open, like a suitcase packed too full and tossed carelessly onto the baggage claim, contents spilling out everywhere. It’s all I can do to fight back the words threatening to pour out of me.

I love you. I want to wake up next to you every day. I want all these hopes and dreams that I never thought were possible, and fuck yes, I want to take a shower with you.

“I’ll tell you something that’s been really helpful to me lately.”

“Sure.”

“It’s okay to be afraid and do it anyway.”

“Remember how much I loved Ginuwine?” I ask.

“How could I forget.” He chuckles. “I wanted to break your cassette player if you played “Pony” one more time.”

“I’m sorry I made you wait so long.”

“Don’t be. It was absolutely worth it for this. I’m glad you talked all that shit eighteen years ago and I agreed.”

Run - don't walk, RUN! You need to one-click this baby today!



And then maybe with the force of our review powers combined we can talk Mia into writing a story for Sydney. Hit her up for it everywhere. It's totally fair for making us love him!!!

I guarantee you won't regret it!




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